European Tour 2015

Finally back home from 5 weeks touring Europe and in need of a few hundred hours of sleep – That was excellent! Keep an eye out for collaborations (made on tour) between myself and Kotch, Sketi, H0ffman and The Kurnel MC coming very soon.

Massive thanks to Dr Hooka, Toby Spin and Psychotropic Frequencies in Frome, Tommy Tease and Wayne at TFP in Tiverton, Rob and Tessa at Spaceport in Glasto, TJ from Sideshow Kuts, Isiana in Amsterdam, NaeleckLiuk Skyfunker and Le Libertin in Paris.

Tour Diary – Hanoi (Vietnam)

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I was in ‘Nam.

The Flight

My flight is at around 7am which means I arrive at Kaohsiung airport before 5. I usually go to sleep around 6am so failed to get any sleep beforehand. A few screaming babies on the plane prevent anyone from sleeping, and the worst airline food I have ever tasted is served up (thanks Vietnam Airlines!) – Things are looking bleak but its ok because I know that the weekend ahead promises to be insanely fun and worth the sleepless flying festival of baby tears I am currently trapped on.

The Taxi

I arrive in Vietnam, change my money over (and become an instant multi-millionaire – 1 million Vietnam Dollars is about $47 US) and make my way to the front of the airport. After about 30 minutes of taxi haggling (as instructed by the promoter, who did actually order a taxi for me which never showed up) and considering commandeering the taxi driver holding the sign that said ‘Pam Chambers’ and pretending I was her, I manage to get one driver down to an acceptable price. We walk to his car, and I realise its not even a taxi, this seems to just be a guy who happened to be at the airport and thought he’d give someone a lift and charge for it. This felt a bit dodgy but everything worked out in the end, except for the fact that the pretend taxi driver proceeded to play songs such as ‘Celine Dion – My Heart Will Go On’, ‘Lionel Richie – Hello’ and even sang along to ‘Mariah Carey – Without You’ (which sounded quite a lot like THIS), giving me a quick taste of what the older generation of Vietnamese are getting down to these days. On the highway, we passed a guy with a wire cage on the back of his motorbike, stuffed absolutely full of live chickens, with their heads and wings all squashed up and poking out the sides, looking pretty unhappy about the whole situation – grim. The taxi driver couldn’t find the promoters place and got a bit lost for another half an hour) but eventually we got there.

The Apartment

The view from Blip Blop's apartment.

The view from Blip Blop’s apartment.

After a warm welcome from Luke aka DJ Blip Blop (the English promoter who had booked me for tonights party), we settle in his front room and watch some classic middle of the road UK television, including Come Dine With Me, Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares and (as Luke put it, “to remind us why we are better off not living in England”) Jeremy Kyle. After some excellent bad TV and Alan Partridge quoting, we head to the nearest bar for the ‘cheapest pint in the world’ – 8 pence/4nt/12 cents is pretty standard pricing for a pint in Vietnam – “Back of the net”!

The Bar & The Tiger

At the bar, we meet up with another DJ who would be playing at tonights party – DJ Vaughan. I hadn’t seen either Luke or Vaughan since my last time DJing in Hanoi in late 2012, it was great to see them both again and catch up. Conversation turned to the local DJ scene and I learnt of a few interestingly named local performers: DJ ‘Milk Danger’ and ‘MC Bob’ stick in my mind. Post pub, we witness something none of us ever would have imagined we would see. There is an aquarium on the side of the road with either a large striped cat or a baby tiger inside, tied to a massive rock and drowned. The aquarium is filled with rice wine – a local, very strong speciality. Inquisitive locals start to gather round. Someone opens the lid and the smell unleashed is intensely unpleasant. The locals all claim it is a tiger, but we are still unsure. It seems that someone has done this to sell the rice wine afterwards – supposedly the dead tiger increases the value significantly. So that was weird…

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Didn't see this coming...

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Didn’t see this coming…

The Eden Party

Leaving this poster in the rain made it very sad indeed.

Leaving this poster in the rain made it very sad indeed.

We went back to Luke’s place where I took a quick powernap before setting off once again to go to the venue we would be playing at that night – Eden ‘The Party Garden’. It is a badass outdoor venue, with a stage area (complete with pole dancer poles) and dance floor surrounded on almost all sides by food vendors, bars, toilets and slightly randomly, a bunch of farmyard animals in a stable area – I guess these guys end up being served up by the food vendors. Luke gets on stage for a soundcheck/warm up set around 8pm – The crowd there at this time are almost exclusively families who are eating at the restaurant or barbecue. The dancefloor and stage area slowly fills with small Vietnamese kids and a few badly dancing dads which was pretty surreal and unexpected. Some of the smaller kids start pole dancing, before being pulled away from the poles by their parents.

Blip Blop, Blibby to the Blibby to the Blip, Blip Blop and ya don't stop...

Blip Blop, Blibby to the Blibby to the Blip, Blip Blop and ya don’t stop…

Kids party!

Kids party!

As it gets later, the kids and dancing dads start to clear out and a more appropriately aged crowd begin to trickle in. By the time I get on stage the numbers are good and people are dancing, but around 45 minutes in to my set, a guy comes up next to me and gestures for me to turn the music off before pointing at a police officer at the side of the stage. The mood drops and people start questioning whether the party is over already at a little after midnight.

A very displeased crowd when the police came.

A very displeased crowd when the police came.

A fairly uncomfortable 20 minutes later, we are told we can start the music again (I can only guess what happened behind the scenes there) and I get back to the job at hand, playing a mashup set of dnb, dubstep, hip-hop, ghetto funk and glitch hop (here’s a clip with some proper rubbish camerawork from Vaughan). With the party in full swing, the foam machine comes on and the atmosphere goes up another notch. By the end of the night, I’d guess between 600-800 people are partying hard to some great sets from Blip Blop, Vaughan and Spectrum (another English DJ who played some of the nicest dnb I’ve heard in a long while, including THIS).

The Storm

Make it NOT rain...

Make it NOT rain…

After the party, feeling extremely haggard and partied out, we got hit by a full on storm and trapped in a small tented bar area. Spirits were high after a banging party, but the rain continued to pour and it was maybe another hour or two before we could head back to Luke’s apartment where Luke kindly offered up his room (opting for the sofa himself) and I slept like a log.

The Morning After The Night Before

Goooooood morning Vietnam! I find myself waking up dazed and hung over. Luke puts on some entirely appropriate and amazing chillout music and the morning is spent listening to Air, Massive Attack and Phaeleh. We then order and proceed to devour a banging curry (something I had been looking forward to since my last time in Vietnam – Its pretty rare to find a decent Indian curry place in Taiwan) and head back to Eden, which is in a bit of a state after the previous nights antics. At Eden we meet up with the DJ who has arranged my show for tonight, French ex-pat and king of electro-swing, Gimix Nomad. Gimix takes me to my badass 5 star hotel for the night, which he tells me is one of the top 10 hotels in the world. I get settled in, take another nap and start to prepare for the show.

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You know its a posh hotel when it has stuff that looks like this...

You know its a posh hotel when it has stuff that looks like this…

The Angelina Gig

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Heading downstairs from my room and getting pretty lost in the massive ‘Sofitel Metropole’ hotel with its endless ultra posh corridors, I eventually find the Angelina Bar, our venue for the night. I find Gimix already set up and raring to go. I proceed to set up my Maschine next to him for fingerdrumming accompaniment. The bar is extremely fancy and actually surprisingly chilled – the musical policy is totally open for Gimix to do what he wants with (which is a pretty rare and beautiful thing in Asia I’m finding). Gimix plays a sick set of nu-funk, electro-swing, chillout, funky breaks and hip-hoppy stuff with me accompanying on the fingerdrums and throwing in a few little b2b-ish bits. After the set, Gimix introduces me to his mates and girlfriend and we head to the launch of a new club, which I instantly forgot the name of.

He's a nomad, he's a warrior...

He’s a nomad, he’s a warrior…

The Afterparty

The club opening is quiet, only a few tables have people at them and the dancefloor is empty, but we are happy to relax there (despite all the power naps throughout the weekend, I’m still knackered, so sitting down is pretty perfect). The local DJ is playing some very nice house music and looks to be enjoying himself, despite the lack of crowd. We are brought a bunch of beers and a big platter of fruit containing the biggest grapes I have ever witnessed.

Seriously, LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THESE GRAPES!

Seriously, LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THESE GRAPES!

LOOK AT THEM!!!!!!

LOOK AT THEM!!!!!!

After an early finish at the club, and some gratitude for showing up from the very hospitable owner, we head back to Gimix’s girlfriends authentic Italian pizzeria, for genuinely some of the nicest pizza I’ve ever had – SIX cheese pizza is the bomb! If you are in Hanoi, be sure to check out Paolo & Chi’s! After this, Gimix, gives me a lift back to the hotel and I crash for the night. A curry, a pizza and a five star hotel in one day – most excellent!

Boom!

Boom!

The Last Day

The next day, I meet Vaughan and Gimix to eat one more curry (for the road) before heading to the airport to catch my flight back to Taiwan and realising I had failed to eat any Vietnamese food whatsoever on the entire trip. It was an excellent weekend, and I would recommend anyone thinking of visiting Hanoi to do so. Hopefully I’ll be back there for some more shows soon.

Blip Blop on Facebook / Blip Blop on Soundcloud

Gimix Nomad on Facebook / Gimix Nomad on Soundcloud

DJ Vaughan on Mixcloud

Tour Diary – Macau (China)

Macau's cloudy skyline...

Macau’s ridiculously cloudy skyline…

Following a show the night before which had me DJing til 1.30am at Brickyard in Kaohsiung (I’m very glad I requested an earlier set time than I usually get there), I had to wake a little before 6am to get to the airport – Annoyingly, DJ life often involves little sleep and lots of travel (but its still mostly awesome). I arrived in Macau at 10am, finding the Sideshow KUTS promoter, TJ, at the airport. The view was very cloudy but you could just about make out an amazing array of skyscrapers of varous weird shapes and sizes (including Grand Lisboa – the big golden alien pineapple looking one) as myself and TJ, took the free ‘casino bus’ into the city. We meandered to his apartment where I made myself at home.

The most fashionable lost cat poster image I have ever seen...

On the way to TJ’s place, I came across the most fashionable lost cat poster image of all time…

After a quick chill at TJ’s, we walked into town to get a kebab (very nice, although I felt the kebab shop – ‘Arabian Kebab’ – could have had a better name – Abra Kebabra and Kebabylon instantly spring to mind). Delicious yet unoriginally named kebabs eaten, we checked out some very cool graffiti, followed by the ‘old town’ (the main sights to see including some overcrowded narrow alleys full of shops and the front wall of an old church – the rest of the church is nowhere to be seen) followed by the Grand Lisboa (the big golden alien pineapple looking) casino. Whilst enjoying an overpriced beer (courtesy of TJ) and some free mixed nuts, we were treated to an odd casino cabaret show featuring skimpily dressed Russian dancing girls miming along to obscure northern soul tunes whilst removing items of clothing. Sadly there were no photos allowed here, but I took a sneaky one from the next floor up showing one of the casinos many floors full of blackjack tables, slot machines and various ridiculous ways to lose money. Note, the casino floors are entirely windowless – I guess this is to make it easier for gambling addicts (‘gamblaholics’?) to lose track of time as they lose their cash, making it easier to keep them there longer. We popped back to TJ’s place (as I was in need of a quick nap).

Some particularly badass graffiti.

Some particularly badass Macau graffiti.

The Grand Lisboa 'big alien pineapple looking' casino.

The Grand Lisboa casino.

I felt like this room would have benefitted from some more chandeliers...

I felt like this room would have benefitted from some more chandeliers…

The next stop was Macau ferry where we went to pick up Janette Slack (who was also DJing that night). The only time I had met Janette previously was for a few seconds on stage in the main room of Fabric in London when she awarded me and the Bass Kitchen team the ‘Best Small Club/Event’ award at Breakspoll 2010. After a quick stroll from the ferry, we headed to Sky 21 where we were treated to some of the best food I have ever eaten – As a 7-11 regular, I’m not really used to the gourmet shizz. The venue is glitzy and upmarket with views overlooking the entire city. Suddenly, as if from nowhere, my Taiwan based buddies Goober Gun appeared. It turns out they were in Macau for some meetings and to see The Rolling Stones play the next day and wanted to surprise me – which definitely worked. Much banging food was eaten, many drinks drunk and a lot of laughs were had. Also, a particularly alienating (for anyone that didn’t like fish puns) epic fish pun battle took place between me and Janette – just for the halibut).

The food to plate ratio of this particular dish was not great - however, the food to deliciousness ratio was through the roof!

The food to plate ratio of this particular dish was not great – however, the food to deliciousness ratio was through the roof!

Soon enough it was myself and Janette’s turn to DJ – we played a few hours of 3o minute short sets each (to allow for maximum toilet-breakage) followed by a little b2b stint at the end (which was my highlight of the gig). With the show finished, we headed downstairs to check out “Macau’s busiest club” – D2 – which was definitely not my style. Massively crowded (to the point where it was hard to move wherever you stood in the club), mediocre ‘safe’ music and filled with a nasty ‘I’m out to get laid and maybe have a fight’ vibe, we didn’t stay too long there.

Fun times.

Fun times – Just before we went downstairs to check out club D2 and it all went wrong…

Next up, myself and Janette headed back to TJ’s where we spent the next 6 or so hours becoming best friends, discovering we had matching beanies and making many very stupid, sleep deprived jokes. During this time, Janette also introduced me to my new favourite Louis CK clip, the Awesome Possum, which had us both crying with laughter. Around midday, we finally all got some much needed sleep.

Beanie Buddies

Rested but still feeling a little haggered, we headed to an Indian curryhouse for a particularly banging curry (again, it was courtesy of TJ, who is definitely one of the more awesome promoters I have ever worked with, and also a pretty badass scratch DJ). Curry eaten, I bid farewell to my new pals and headed to Macau airport to catch the flight back to Kaohsiung and continue the adventure in Taiwan…

Big tunes which were played:

Cameo – Word Up (Howla Remix)

Mutantbreakz – Sexy (Beatslappaz Remix)

JFB vs. Public Enemy – Bring The Wobble (Chamber Mashup)